Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.

My Mom came to visit on Sunday night and we have been playing with Annabel during the day and Scott has cooked great meals every night.

At Gymboree on Tuesday, the other kids/parents witnessed The Annabel Show. She was so excited about some of the activities that she did her own dance and song routine. She is hilarious! She was fueled by her Grandma watching I think. My Mom brought 3 pair of flip flops with her and Annabel has amused herself for the past few days by disappearing for a few minutes to return with a new pair of shoes for Grandma to wear. She rotated pretty evenly between red, pink and black.

I have finally gone wig shopping. Twice now, same place. I picked out my wig, but I just haven't pulled the trigger yet. It is on hold at the wig shop. It is actually not so bad. I don't think it is very "wiggy" looking; Scott and my Mom and Annabel agree. Key to this though is that I still have hair (today) and I think my natural "sideburns" made it more real looking. We'll see.

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about the hair thing because according to the doctor and what I've read, it should start coming out today or tomorrow, possibly Friday. As if staying up all night worrying about it was going to postpone it from happening. I certainly wasn't up all night enjoying my hair, whatever that might entail. Ha, ha. I had dreams of my hair falling out when I did sleep. Then something would cross my mind like how horrifying it would be if I woke up and Annabel was covered in my hair that had fallen out in the middle of the night. I am sort of ready to get through this part. I don't think I'm vain and everyone knows that I am not really a hair-doer, especially since I've been home with Annabel. The last time I got my hair cut (before the big chop) was in October and I was washing it once a week or so. It was sorta dirty most of the time and spent a lot of time in ponytails. Now that it's so short, it is prone to wackiness that I don't care to try (hard) to control. I have lots of cowlicks apparently. I just wet it down and go about my business. So later, when I am whining about my baldness, just remind me that my hair was usually a hassle!

All of this hair anxiety wasn't good for my visit with my Mom, though. I am sorry to say that our visit didn't end well. I told her that I didn't want her to be here when my hair started falling out and she took offense to that, of course. This cancer thing is not fun for anyone, I know. I am sorry it had to end that way though.

I am sure that tomorrow is the day. I took a shower tonight and some, um, other hair came out (in case you were wondering!). I am not shedding any tears over that loss, but it was a little shocking. I yelled to Scott from the bathroom to tell him. He didn't come in there because he was occupied with Annabel. He wasn't too surprised I guess. I think he still doesn't totally believe that it's going to happen. Again, this whole thing is not fun for anyone, but I am so lucky to have him by my side.

Enough about the hair for now. I have been feeling lots better. I guess mostly now it's a little fatigue, but I have been laying down with Annabel for her afternoon nap and either taking a nap or just relaxing. I feel like for the next few months, I'll be going through this cycle of getting smacked down with the chemo, gradually getting better and then gearing up for the next smackdown. My next treatment is a week from tomorrow and we are already talking about how we can get things ready and be more prepared for next time. Starting with getting the house in order! Ugh.

1 comment:

  1. Don't sweat the visits and the hair and the preparations. I will help you get the house in order! Annabel would like waking up with some new hair to play with-it would go with her flip flops. jk. Keep your mind occupied, want me to come with you to procure the wig and accoutrements?