Thursday, October 8, 2009

What To Do???

This is Annabel going, going, gone!  This morning, Scott's parents came up to visit.  I went on a solo mission to Target for supplies and then met Scott for lunch.  Emily wanted Annabel to spend the night, but we thought this might not be a good idea since we're going to Knoxville tomorrow and it would mean an extra 45 minutes in the car for her.  But then we changed our minds!  Annabel loves to go to Mimi's and by the time I got home for lunch, she had packed all of her toys.  There are no sad goodbyes from her!  She was ready to go when I walked in the door! 

I am not used to being by myself and I have already had alone time at Target today.  I don't even know what to do with myself, so I just plopped in the chair in front of the tv and here I sit, trying to decide what to do while the day wastes away!  I might go to a movie.  I might play with the Play Doh I got for Annabel at Target.  I might go sit on the porch and watch traffic and enjoy the weather.  But I might sit here in this chair with the windows open and take a nap.  Or not.  You would never know that I lived alone for 10 years! 

Yesterday, Annabel and I spent our first day alone together in a few weeks.  It was great and we took it easy.  She is amazing and also happens to be great company.  Her new thing is eating cereal with milk.  Kim fed her some Cheerios with milk one day and she is all over it.  She does a great job not making a mess.  I can't believe what a big girl she is already!  We sat on the back porch yesterday afternoon and had a snack and waited for Scott to come home.  She decided that she needed shoes, so she went in the house and came back with her tennis shoes.  Then she told me that I needed shoes, too.  So she went back in the house and came out with a pair of sneakers that I rarely wear.  I have no idea where she found them, but she was really proud of herself.  And that made me happy!  She is very particular about things sometimes.  She likes for things to be in (her) order and she will throw a fit over shoes.  She loves loves loves to pick out her shoes as well as ours.  She picked out her shoes and socks today.  I guess it is funky fresh to mix her tie-dye shirt and capris with striped socks and pink striped tennis shoes.  Or something.  Annabel's other true love at the moment is Max and Ruby, her favorite TV show.  She has a little dance that she does when she hears the music.  She goes nuts for it!  I got her a Max and Ruby DVD at Target today.  We have episodes on DVR, but will be nice to have a "roady" for back-up and trips!  She is still calling me Mommmmmmm.  I told Karen before she got here that Annabel uses a long "m".  She didn't know what I meant until Annabel called me from the other room.  I have no idea why I'm not Mommy, but I'll roll with it.  She calls Scott Daddy most of the time.  I guess she is done calling him Scott for now.  I miss her when she's not here!!!

Today marks only 5 more weeks of chemo hell!  My last treatment will be on November 12th if all goes as planned.  I am looking forward to this milestone, but at the same time, I am nervous about NOT having any more treatments.  At least I know now that the poisons are working hard to kill the cancer.  What will it be like when I don't have that assurance?  I am sure it will be hard, but I will be busy worrying about surgery and then recovery and then radiation......but I can't help but worry about the chemo working its magic.  These are the big guns I think and the rest of it is just sort of the icing on the cake.  But maybe I think that because I am in the thick of it?  I don't know. 

So, that is what is going on today.  It is absolutely beautiful outside!  It is hard to complain on days like today.  I just wish that fall lasted longer here in South Carolina!

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